


came out sideways

by wintae



Series: most teens can't do emotions [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, also mentioned public sex lmao, chenle is now the demon, donghyuck is only quiet when hes w chenle, emotional constipation is na jaemin's middle name, everyone is hoppin all up on ren jun, implied underage but none described
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7910626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintae/pseuds/wintae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Na Jaemin will not break his streak of extreme emotional constipation-especially not to fall in love with his best friend.</p><p>Chenle is the replacement demon, Ren Jun is the best person in the world, and Lee Jeno is Jaemin's sugar baby cupcake angel puppy beautiful lovey-dovey prince. He'll tell him when someone pulls his emotions out of his ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	came out sideways

It’s an undisputed fact in Jaemin’s friend group that he is an emotionally-constipated, meddling turd. It’s also undisputed that he’s in love with his best friend, Lee Jeno, and that he won’t do anything about it due to the aforementioned emotional constipation. 

Jeno is the one who laughs at all of his jokes, even if it’s only because they’re so stupid. He’s still laughing- the nearly silent sound that makes Jaemin’s heart swell because he’s the reason it came. He’s the one who knows his parents well enough to call them by first name. Jeno is usually very formal, so Jaemin is very proud that he feels comfortable in Jaemin’s home. 

Ren Jun is just busting a rib next to him as he debates out loud if it would be weird if he set this selfie of Jeno as his phone background. 

~~

Jeno is the one in their group that is usually gone the most for his activities since he plays every musical instrument known to man. That leaves sufficient time for the rest of Jaemin’s friends to tease him endlessly about his ridiculous crush. 

Surprisingly, the worst of the teasers is Chenle. Most would think Donghyuck would be the one who does most of the teasing, but there is a beautiful difference between regular Donghyuck and a Donghyuck holding Chenle’s hand. He becomes significantly less demonic. 

(“Who knew getting Donghyuck laid would be the off-switch to his mouth?” Mark jokes the monday after the two got together. Donghyuck growled, but then Chenle giggled. Donghyuck cannot do anything besides melt when Chenle giggles.)

Since Donghyuck is sated, Chenle swoops up to be the top torturer, determined to end Na Jaemin’s life. Then again, it’s really Jeno who is, but Jaemin refuses to think ill of his beautiful baby angel sweetie pie cutie cupcake sugar prince. 

“Why do you torture me so, Chenle? You owe me,” Jaemin laments, flopping dramatically onto a bean bag in the study hall room. It’s a great room with comfy chairs, and they can be rowdy and isolated during lunch. It would be good because they don’t need more upperclassmen yelling slurs at Chenle and Donghyuck (and Donghyuck getting suspended for punching them) and noonas coming to pinch Jisung’s cheeks. 

If anyone is more emotionally constipated than Jaemin, it’s Jisung. He has a legitimate reason, unlike Jaemin. He skipped a grade, so he’s always a little bit behind his classmates maturity-wise. Mark is friends with Jisung’s family, so he brought him into his group. At first, it was pity, but Jisung really was a cute kid who was enjoyable to be around. He was the little brother Jaemin never knew he wanted until he was there. And now, they can’t get rid of him if they wanted to. 

“Why do I owe you?” Chenle asks as he flops himself onto Donghyuck’s lap. He exalts in the treatment he gets from Donghyuck. It’s sickly sweet and also a little disgusting. Donghyuck plays with his boyfriend’s hand as Ren Jun gags behind them. 

“Because I forced that dipshit you’re sitting on to tell you his feelings and other shit,” Jaemin replies. 

“Well, what if I returned the favor?” 

“What the fuck do you mean?” Jaemin could not comprehend. Chenle was going to make him talk about his feelings? What feelings? He only knows memes. 

“Hey, guys, sorry I’m late,” a familiar, soft, yet gravely voice says from behind Jaemin. He tilts his head back to the smile at his best friend. “I had to make plans with Koeun so we can do our bio project.” Jaemin flips his head back. Fuck Koeun. 

“Does she still not believe that you’re gay?” Mark asks with a smirk pointed towards Jaemin’s pout. He sticks out a tongue towards him. 

“No, she does, but now she keeps asking about my crushes and who I think is the cutest in Exo,” Jeno huffs as he sinks onto the beanbag chair with Jaemin. Jaemin slides over, but Jeno is so goddamn tiny he doesn’t need much more. It makes Jaemin crazy. He just wants to cuddle him. And possibly stab Koeun.

“Someone get rid of her,” Chenle says with great disdain. They all nod simultaneously. 

“She ruffles my hair way too much,” Jisung pipes up with a disgusted face.

“We’re definitely getting rid of her now.” 

Mark snorts and it’s disgusting. 

Jeno does his silent laugh-breathe thing and Jaemin is ready for his life to end. 

“So, Jaemin,” Ren Jun starts. “How was Friday?” Jaemin glares at him and everyone else just looks confused. 

“You bitch,” Jaemin hisses. “I’m terminating whatever contract allowed you to talk to me.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Mark chimes in. “Secrets? Na Jaemin? Having secrets implies emotions. And all you emotions are clearly stuck up your ass.” 

“This dude pulled it out of him,” Ren Jun replies. “Probably from his ass, too.” Jaemin makes a mental note to stab him in his sleep. 

“Excuse me, I have standards,” Jaemin huffs with a hair flip. Jeno laughs behind him and he pouts. 

“Ok, but seriously- what is this secret?” Mark edges on. Jaemin sighs. 

“Remember Lee Chan?” Jaemin starts.

“The one who yelled at the homophobic assholes on that day? The one that really likes Exo and has a dinosaur backpack?” Donghyuck says. 

“Yeah, him. He asked me on a date. Ren Jun was walking with me when he did, so he knows but I didn’t want to tell many people.” Jaemin is not going to look at Jeno’s face. What he sees currently is everyone except Ren Jun shocked. Jisung stops chewing his sandwich even. Jaemin can hear Jeno breathing and he wants to record it to fall asleep to. 

“How was the date?” Chenle asks, poking him to continue.

“It was alright. Nothing special. We went to dinner near the mall and he let me play with the puppies at the pet shop.” And he saw some matchbox cars in the toy store and couldn’t stop thinking about Jeno. 

“Did he kiss you?”

“Did he fuck you?” Donghyuck says.

“Guys, there are children here!” Mark scolds, covering Jisung’s ears. “But did you guys fuck?”

“Yes and no. We kissed but it didn’t go further.”

“Do you like him?” This one came from Jeno. Jaemin turned to see him. He isn’t smiling. He never isn’t smiling. He’s supposed to always smile. 

“Not really,” Jaemin mumbles. He turns away before he blushes, because that would mean showing emotions. He can’t do that. 

“He likes someone else,” Chenle coos and Jaemin is going to combust. He is going to take everyone down with him. Except Jeno. And maybe Jisung. 

“What? Does everyone know this?” Jeno replies, furrowing his brows. Jaemin wants to kiss in between his eyebrows, or scream until the cops come. 

“Yeah, basically. Except Jaemin himself,” Jisung says. 

Jisung is going down with him. 

“Why are you guys keeping secrets from me?” Jeno whines, but he can’t really whine all that well. Jaemin is going to fall apart right now. Lee Jeno is too cute for Jaemin to deal with. 

Every piece of him wants to run away. The blood is pounding in his ears and his eyes glaze over. He really, really wants to run. 

_Run away with him. Run away with Jeno. Kiss him, love him, be with him always. Be the reason he smiles. Be his everything like he is yours._

Jaemin runs. He forgets a notebook on the ground, but maybe Jeno will bring it to him.

_Jeno Jeno Jeno Jeno Jeno Je-_

~~

If Jaemin wasn’t so in love with Jeno already, he might’ve liked to date Ren Jun. 

He’s very reasonable and pleasant. He’s good at timing and knows when to stop joking. Jaemin thinks his playfulness is his charm, but he knows he has a hard time knowing when to stop. Ren Jun does everything with a purpose. 

“Jaemin, you know, if you keep stuffing things down, it will only just come out sideways eventually,” Ren Jun says quietly. Jaemin had tracked him down after school and asked him if they could meet up that evening. Ren Jun is running his hand through Jaemin’s hair. He’s not crying, but he’s visibly upset. “You have to talk about things. Think of Taeil.”

Taeil was a friend of Mark’s. He was in love with a classmate of his- Lee Taeyong, Mark’s cousin. He never told him, and Taeyong ended up getting into a serious relationship with a guy from Japan. They even went to college together. Taeil was so heartbroken that he got shitfaced and almost died. Taeil had the same issue as Jaemin- he was bad at showing his emotions. It bit him in the ass. 

Jaemin sighs and leans into the touch. Ren Jun just continues to pet him until Jaemin’s mother calls them for dinner. 

~~

“Jaemin, do you like Ren Jun?” Jeno asks one day. Jaemin pauses his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. Ren Jun is currently with Chenle talking to their Chinese teacher. Donghyuck looks like a lost puppy since Chenle is not on his lap. He still smirks when Jeno asks that, however. Mark chokes on his own spit.

Jisung actually looks concerned and serious, his lips looking particularly small with that expression. There’s a theory swimming in everyone’s head that Jisung really looks up to Ren Jun in a more than friends way. 

“No,” Jaemin replies, speaking rather softly. There usually isn’t tension in their group, but as the end of their first year approaches with finals rearing their frightening heads, everyone is on edge. There’s also the inevitable coming out sideways of Na Jaemin, as Ren Jun has said. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I know you could like Lee Chan,” Jeno says with staccato. “He’s your type. But you don’t give him that much of a thought. That means you probably have a crush on someone else. Otherwise, you’d be happily swimming in his affections.” Jaemin knows he’s right. Jeno is fabulous at reading Jaemin. Of course, he’s picking up that Jaemin has a crush. “Also, they mentioned you had a crush the day you bolted so oddly. They said afterwards that they were just joking, but I’m not so sure I believe them.”

Jaemin sucks in a short breath. “I don’t like Ren Jun. He’s a great person and a fantastic friend, but I do not have a crush on him.” 

“Then who?” Jeno whispers, so quiet that Jaemin is just going to pretend that he said it to himself. Thankfully, Ren Jun and Chenle walk in, Donghyuck’s face brightens, and the tension dissipates. Or maybe, Jaemin just stops noticing it because he doesn’t want it to be there.

~~

Right before finals start, the school hosts a school lock-in for people to stay overnight for stress relief. They check people’s bags for school supplies and actually illicit materials when they come in. There’s a dance, a movie, and some karaoke, blah blah blah and they sleep. Everyone makes waffles and has ridiculously sugary cereal. It’s called Pre-Finals Stress Lock-out and everyone else really calls it the Pre-Hell Makeout Time. 

“That was when Taeyong lost his virginity,” Mark says, proud of his extensive knowledge of all things nasty from upperclassmen relations. 

“Ick, please don’t,” Jaemin whines, scrunching his face up. “I do not want to think about him and Yuta in that way in our school.”

“Hey, it’s better than who ended up fucking in this room-”

Everyone screeches and stands up. “Where did they do it? Oh my god, was it on the couch? I’ve sat there, oh my god, this is disgusting,” Donghyuck cries out. 

“Calm down! They did it on the beanbags.” Jaemin and Jeno look at each other in horror. They’ve sat there this whole fucking year. 

“Mark Lee,” Jaemin says, seething. “You mean to tell me that I’ve been sitting where some raunchy upperclassmen fucked this whole entire year? And so has Jeno?” Mark nods sheepishly.

“If it makes you feel any better, it was Ten and Johnny.”

“Oh my fucking god, that makes it worse!”

~~

“Donghyuck and Chenle are gonna fuck at this year’s Lock-in,” Jeno says as he and Jaemin walk to their favorite boba place. Jaemin retches into his phone. 

“Can we not?” Jaemin huffs.

“It’s true, though. Everyone knows it’s happening.”

“Who else do you think will?”

“I think Lee Chan might go after you.” Jaemin snorts and rolls his eyes. “It’s true! And Koeun has a crush on this Japanese girl.” Jaemin stops walking in surprise.

“No fucking way.”

“I know right? Who would’ve known? She’s bisexual, and this girl Hina is in half of her classes. She’s in love. She says she’ll make a move at the Lock-in.” Jaemin smiles.

“Good for her.” Jaemin is legitimately happy for her. She’s annoying as hell, but Jaemin is a sucker for cute gay stuff. 

“Also, I think Jisung might get caught in some stupid game of truth or dare and be forced into doing something with Ren Jun.” Jaemin bites his lip and nods. He thinks it’s cute, but he doesn’t know if Jisung is ready yet. “I also want to try and find someone, maybe.”

_What._

Jaemin slams his backpack down. Jeno turns to him in surprise. His eyes are wide. Jaemin has never seen them this big, because they’re always smiling with him. Jaemin is going to do something stupid in the next few seconds, all in the name of Lee Jeno. 

“No, you can’t do that.” Jeno frowns. It isn’t right. Everything is upside down. Lee Jeno doesn’t frown; he’s smiling with every inch of his beautiful being. 

“Who are you to say that to me?” 

“I may be younger than you, but you know what I have over you.” Confidence. Hope that’s pushing against his ribcage. A love that’s endless, that seems to have lasted for eons.

“What power trip has gotten into you now? You’re the one who didn’t tell me about the date with Lee Chan. Why do I have to get your permission for this shit?” Jeno is too hot, too close, but he’s too far at the same time, because he isn’t right there with Jaemin. Jaemin would give anything at all to be right against him, every night and every day. Every second of every year. “I’m my own person, Na Jaemin. I can kiss whoever the fuck I want, just as you can go on a date with the dinosaur kid. Call me when you get the stick out of your ass and remember what a normal friendship is like.” Jeno turns on his heels and just like that, he is untouchable. Jaemin has never been more afraid. 

~~

“Jaemin, this is was what I talking about when I said it would come out sideways. Jeno is really confused and hurt, and I know you’d do anything to keep him happy. You have to man up and do something,” Ren Jun says calmly. 

“I’m going to grab your emotions from up your ass if you don’t do something, Na Jaemin,” Mark says significantly less calmly. 

Ren Jun is cradling Jaemin in his arms and Mark is pacing with a red face the day after the terribleness went down. The lock-in is in two days, and Jaemin cannot stand being apart from his precious baby cupcake angel butterfly beautiful puppy sweetie pie for very long. He needs to do something, and quick. He done fucked up, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. Jaemin had faked sick that day so he wouldn’t have to face it. Ren Jun said that Jeno hadn’t even sat with their friend group, but he was at school. He had gone home early, a little after lunch. 

“Chenle saw him in math class,” Mark says. “He said he looked miserable. The teacher called on him for a problem and he had a hard time answering again.” 

Jaemin almost begins to cry. Jeno had a serious issue with not speaking in class when they first met, and he’d come tremendously far with it thanks to Jaemin’s support. Knowing that he’d fallen back into that breaks Jaemin’s heart.

“Why don’t you surprise him at the Lock-in?” Ren Jun pipes up, looking as excited as his tiny facial spectrum of emotion can handle. 

“What do you mean?” Jaemin asks, prompting him to go on. 

“You can slip a note into his locker telling him to meet you somewhere and then you can kiss him! He said he was thinking of hooking up with someone, right? Say it’s anonymous. Or maybe that it’s from one of us.” Mark nods along, a smile spreading across his face, half mischievous, half genuinely happy. 

“Maybe we can have Koeun give it to him, saying it’s from a secret admirer. He’d know she means well, and that it won’t be from her,” Mark adds. Jaemin bites his lip, considering it. It would break his emotional-constipation streak, but that fight might’ve already done so. 

But, it would stop Jeno from hurting. It could make him happy. He could make Jeno happy.

“Fuck it, let’s do it.”

~~

_Dear Jeno,_

_Hello, it’s been a while. I want a chance with you. You’re such a lovely human being and it would be an honor to be a part of your life._

Donghyuck gags. “I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” he comments with disdain.

“Says the guy who bought a 20 count pack of tea lights yesterday,” Jaemin retorts, still not tearing his eyes away from the page. Donghyuck lunges towards him, but he leans out of the way. Chenle is in his own world with a lollipop Donghyuck bought him. 

_Please meet me at midnight during the Lock-in in the study hall room, like where you eat lunch._

_See you then. xx_

Short and sweet. 

“Now, where do I find Koeun?” Jaemin says. 

“Oh…,” Jisung replies. “I saw her with Jeno just recently.”

“Do anyone know her locker number?”

“I do,” Mark replies. They all look at him in surprise. “What? I’m friends with Hina.” 

~~

The Lock-in started one hour ago, and Chenle and Donghyuck have already disappeared. They sang a High School Music duet together at the karaoke, danced with each other for three songs, and left to probably do something no one really wants to think about. Jaemin wolf-whistled them and yelled “Get some!” as the two slipped into the hall. He hasn’t had much to do since then. 

Jeno is here. Jaemin saw him walk in. Skinny jeans exist only to make Jaemin want to sin, he swears by it. 

There’s still 3 hours until midnight. Jaemin sinks into the floor even more, hoping it will swallow him until then. 

“Jaemin?” Ren Jun calls softly. He looks frightened. Jaemin beckons for him to sit down and goes into supportive friend mode. “I’m so confused. I just… I really like Mark, like a lot.” Jaemin’s eyes widen. He did not see that one coming. Maybe Ren Jun is just as emotionally-constipated as he is. “I’ve even told him that.” Never mind. “Mark said he’d never thought of me that way, but he’d give it a shot. But… Jisung just confessed to me. Now I don’t know what to do.” 

Jaemin figured that Jisung would get roped into confessing tonight, but he didn’t realize Ren Jun’s feelings for Mark. Ren Jun is always to calm and grounded; it never crossed Jaemin’s mind before that he would have any issues of his own. 

He feels an overwhelming sense of guilt over that.

“Oh, Ren Jun…”

“I mean, it would kill me to hurt Jisung. It would kill everyone to see him upset. I don’t know what to do. High school is so fucking hard.” He sees Ren Jun’s eyes fill with tears. Jaemin thinks. 

“Talk to Mark. He knows Jisung the best of us all. He’ll understand and be able to help,” Jaemin says after a while. “I know it’s scary, but it is what’s best you three. Also, if there’s anything I know about Jisung, is that he hates more than anything being lied to. Whatever you do, tell him the truth. He’s a kid, but he’s a bright, talented, and understanding kid. He knows more about life than most kids his age, even in our grade!” Ren Jun nods and visibly seems reassured. Jaemin smiles and pats him on the back.

“Can I hang with you for now? I want to wait to talk to Mark. I also want to maybe, I don’t know, do some karaoke with you?” Ren Jun adds with a hopeful smile. Jaemin pulls Ren Jun up with a playful smile.

“That’s the guy I know.” Jaemin pulls him towards the karaoke machine with a wide smile. Ren Jun laughs as he gets pulled after his friend.

~~

Jaemin spent an hour and a half singing with Ren Jun and watching others sing. He spent another hour on the dance floor with some of his upperclassmen friends, like Jaehyun and Sicheng, while Ren Jun went to sort his little drama stuff out. By the time he stumbles off the dance floor and checks his phone, it’s 11:48 pm. He smiles to himself and runs to the bathroom to fix his hair. 

He grabs his mouthwash from his bag, as well. Because he is a shameless little bitch that wants Jeno to know that he’s been dreaming about kissing him. 

With one smile at the mirror and a cute hum to himself, he goes on out towards the study hall room. 

The room is empty, and the clock says there’s 2 more minutes until midnight. So he sits. (Not on the beanbags. Never again.) And waits. 

A few seconds after midnight strikes, Jeno turns into the door. Jaemin knows he can’t see him yet from where he’s sunk himself into the couch. “Hello?” he calls out. 

“You don’t understand the prospect of fashionably late, huh?” Jaemin starts with a shaky breath. “That’s okay, that means you’re excited.”

“Jaemin? It's you?” Jeno breathes. He’s gotten closer to where Jaemin is. Jaemin tilts his head back to see Jeno, looking breathtakingly beautiful. He’s slightly sweaty, probably from dancing, and his cheeks are flushed, probably from dancing and current circumstances. He looks like he’s been biting his lip, which is hot as hell, and his eyes are already smiling, even though his mouth isn’t quite there yet. 

“Of course it is, sweetie.” Jaemin waggles his eyebrows and beckons Jeno to sit next to him. 

“Why am I here, Jaemin? Be honest,” Jeno says with a sad tone, but his eyes are so hopeful. 

“You’re here because Mark and Ren Jun pulled my emotions out of my ass,” Jaemin replies. “You’re here because I fucked up this week when we had the argument. You’re here because I’ve thought about kissing you all year and it’ll kill me if it doesn’t happen soon. But most of all, you’re here because I love you to death.” 

Jeno is silent, speechless. His eyes are smiling, but it looks like he’s repressing a smile. 

Eventually, the urge gives in and that same smile he fell so helplessly in love with is back on Jeno’s face, wide as ever. 

“Took you long enough,” Jeno says before taking Jaemin by the shoulders. Jaemin makes a surprised noise on Jeno’s mouth, and Jeno replies by licking his tongue lightly along Jaemin’s lips. Jaemin opens his mouth and leans in until he’s on Jeno’s lap. He cannot believe that any of this is actually happening right now. 

~~

“How are you such a good kisser?” Jeno asks sleepily as they cuddle on the couch. Jaemin’s whole body is humming with love and energy. His lips are sore and Jeno’s look even worse. Jeno also sports a purple hickey on his collarbone.

(After biting along Jeno’s collarbone and leaving a mark, Jeno mumbles, “I’ll ask Chenle about how to cover it up.” Jaemin makes a soft noise of disgust. Jeno then flops onto Jaemin to kiss him again, even though he’s positive Jeno is about to fall asleep.) 

“I dunno, I’ve only kissed two people before, and they didn’t matter all that much,” Jaemin replies onto Jeno’s neck.

“Why don’t they matter?”

“They’re not you.”

Jeno is quiet for almost half a minute before he lets out a loud cackle and nearly throws Jaemin off the couch. “What the fuck, man? Oh, shit, you’re so in love with me. Who the hell knew?” 

Jaemin frowns. “Stop teasing me, or my emotions will go back up my ass.”

“Ok, then I’ll just go retrieve them.” And Jeno fucking _winks._

Jaemin is going to combust, yet again, and Jeno is going down with him, so they can continue kissing, even in hell.

**Author's Note:**

> YOU BETTER KNOW WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY CUTE HUM AIGHT
> 
> IF YOU DONT- WATCH NCT LIFE IN BANGKOK EP 6 AT AROUND 17:00 UNTIL THE JAENO PART ENDS OK IT'S AFTER HE SAYS SLEEP IM GONNA CRY THAT THING IS MY FAVORITE 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed it xx <3


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